


Goddamn, I love him anyway

by Wooshin_stan



Series: The Good, The Bad and The Dirty [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Smut, a lot of cigarettes, mentioned past relationships, the boys are confused af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 13:44:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12109989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wooshin_stan/pseuds/Wooshin_stan
Summary: Minghao was happy with his life the way it was, without a taken neighbor messing with his head, without his best friend trying to escape from his fucked up relationship. But maybe each of Jun's smiles was worth it.Mingyu knew what he was doing wasn't healthy. He just needed the right person to hold him up once he took off his collar.





	Goddamn, I love him anyway

**Author's Note:**

> I worked on this for quite a while. I'm also planning some other works in this universe, so obviously, this work will have some continuation.  
> Also, the title doesn't really connect to the story? But I was listening to Panic! At The Disco and for some reason thought it's a good idea.

This was the third time this week. It should be common sense to at least try to keep your lovers' quarrels to yourself, right? Apparently, Minghao's neighbor didn't share that opinion. Or at least, his girlfriend didn't.

Another string of curses crept through his door as Minghao pressed his pillow closer to his ears, trying to mute the sounds out.

Not only were they fighting in front of his apartment, it was three in the morning, meaning it was an extremely inappropriate time for loud arguments outside.

Minghao's never actually seen them personally, but he heard them often enough.

Those little fights, like who will wash the dishes or take out the trash, he heard those almost everyday. Those loud laughs from the woman when she watched TV shows on way too loud volume while her boyfriend complained. Then the bigger fights, those that apparently couldn't wait until they are in their own apartment, like now. And like always, Minghao predicted that in less than thirty minutes, he'd hear even more disgusting sounds of them making up in the nastiest ways.

But this was taking too long, it was strange. Usually, the couple would already be comforting each other, preparing to shed the clothes and ruin the rest of Minghao's night. But this time, even when the next door closed and the only barrier was the paper-thin wall between the apartments, no calming words could be heard. Instead, the argument went on and it was obviously getting worse every second.

The screaming intensified, Minghao would swear he even heard glass break. Then, all of sudden, it was quiet.

No more hateful curses, no loud door slams or sounds of objects hitting the wall and floor violently. Silence.

However, as soon as the building was finally calm and quiet again, Minghao's body decided, that it isn't a good enough time to sleep at.

Sighing, the chinese man got out of his bed, grabbing a pack of cigarettes off his table before heading to his balcony.

A gentle breeze washed over his skin as he stood there, leaning on the railing.

Smoke escaping his lips curled before disappearing, blinded out by Seoul's bright lights. Sometimes, he still missed China. But his future was built here, he was no fool to give it up. Yes, he'd love to hug his parents again, to have a drink with his old friends, to see his favourite childhood places once more, but China held too many memories he'd rather forget, along with the bitter words of disappointment and disgust.

Minghao let the lights around swallow him completely, enjoying the gentle wind creeping through his hair like the fingers of a lover, the sweet chill slowly moving through his fingers as he took another drag.

"You know that's bad for your health, right?"

"So is not getting enough sleep because your neighbors can't handle their shit."

Minghao didn't open his eyes. He knew the voice well enough. Usually, it was either raised and harsh or clouded with angry pleasure, but the undertone still sounded the same. Maybe it would be better to match a face to it, but Minghao didn't want to give up the feeling of utter peace that spread through his body as the night went on.

"Oh, you heard that? I'm sorry..." Minghao smirked a bit.

"Yeah, I heard that. Today, yesterday, four days ago and also everything that came before than or after. Your girl's a screamer, huh?"

Finally opening his eyes, he came face to face with a living tomato. His neighbor's face was bright red, although still handsome. With his sharp features, wide eyes and hair that was swept into a gentle wave way too perfectly, his neighbor was hot as hell. Not that Minghao would admit that aloud anytime soon. Well... maybe in his bed or shower. Depends.

"It's okay. I'll leave you here to blush it out. G'night."

Just as he was about to enter his apartment, a voice held him back.

"Wait..."

Minghao turned around, facing the handsome man.

"I'm really sorry... it's just, my job isn't the easiest at the moment. I'm coming home late and my girlfriend is getting really pissed off about it, but I can't really help it... it's just my job, that's how it is."

"You should be telling that to your girlfriend, don't you think?" the other smiled, a bit sadly.

"I tried... she doesn't listen. Thinks I've got some other woman."

"Bad for you, I guess..."

"Yeah. Wen Junhui, by the way." Junhui, finally a name to his neighbor, reached out a hand across the railing separating their balconies.

"Xu Minghao. You shouldn't be going around introducing yourself to strangers at three in the morning, though. Especially not when your girlfriend thinks you're cheating." Junhui smiled a bit before shaking his head.

"Don't think she'd assume that I'm cheating with our male, straight and taken neighbor. Your girl seems like the quiet type, but she sure makes you scream." the brunette smirked, turning to their night view again. Meanwhile, Minghao chuckled, throwing a quick look to his bedroom, knowing exactly which sweetie hidden in his drawer made him scream so loud.

"Yeah, she does." he couldn't help but laugh.

They stood there for a few quiet minutes, Minghao blowing out smoke here and there, both staring off into the distance.

"I'll see you around, Xu Minghao."

"Tomorrow at three?" it was meant to be a joke, but when Junhui smiled and nodded, Minghao only grinned in reply. Then, Junhui's balcony door closed, the man disappearing from his view.

Minghao threw out his finished cigarette, heading into his apartment as well.

As sleep crept into his mind, Minghao smiled at the thought of his slightly silly but still attractive neighbor, drifting off into his dreamland.

-

A few weeks later, it became a routine to meet up during the night, even if they only spoke for five minutes at the most.

At almost three in the morning, Minghao decided that he'll head to his bed when the screams appeared.

Amongst 'Where have you been?!'s and other nosy questions a good girlfriend wouldn't have to ask, Minghao heard an 'I'm going for a smoke.', making him push his plan to sleep to a bit later time.

Junhui already sat on the balcony when Minghao arrived, dressed a bit more properly than just his pajamas and armed with a pack of cigarettes and two beers. Offering one of each to Junhui, he sat down on the single chair placed in the corner.

"Thanks." the other mumbled, before taking a sip of the drink, sighing loudly.

"Rough day?" Minghao already knew the answer, but asking seemed more polite.

"How'd you guess?" even though the words were snappy and a bit bitter, the humor in them was obvious.

"I have super powers. They're called ears." the other snorted, a smile finally appearing on his lips.

That night, they talked, as always. However, it wasn't for a few minutes like usual. Only when the sun started rising did they part with matching grins and hazy eyes, their goodbyes slurred as their drinking didn't end after a beer.

Minghao was glad that it was his day off, sleeping into the afternoon.

Only after he woke up did he find the note on his balcony, the writing a bit wobbly but still readable.

'Won't be able to meet you tonight, but really wanna talk anyway. Text me.

\- Jun'

And a phone number scribbled underneath.

-

Minghao: jun? it's minghao

Jun: well look at who woke up

Minghao: you sound cranky

Jun: you can't hear me. and of course i am. i have a massive hangover, thanks to someone.

Minghao: you asked for it

Jun: sure

Minghao: how about lunch somewhere? i'm bored

Jun: at work, sorry

Minghao: i'm very willing to bring it to you.

Jun: you're paying.

Minghao: you're older. i also paid for your beer yesterday

Jun: say goodbye to lunch with me then

As much as he didn't want to be the one caving in, it ended up being Minghao who paid for their chicken, sitting in Junhui's office as they stuffed their faces.

The days going by, Minghao started noticing something in his head that definitely shouldn't be there.

-

He should've seen it coming.

Guys like Jun, they always made him fall fast and hard.

Once again, Minghao sat on his balcony, staring at the night sky. He sat there alone, Jun still in his apartment, for once not actually fighting with Ann, as he introduced his girlfriend.

"She's american..."

"Maybe that's why she lacks a filter or two."

"I can't even deny that."

And it was annoying, knowing just what Junhui was doing right now. Movie night, they called it. More like turn-up-the-volume-to-mask-that-we're-having-loud-sex night. At least in Minghao's opinion. And even though he acted like he didn't care, even congratulating Junhui on 'getting some', it hurt. But he knew well enough, that Junhui didn't belong to him, as much as he'd like to own his heart.

Another moan echoed in his head, the crazy volume of the movie no longer being able to cover the sounds of sex that came from the other apartment.

These nights were the worst. Jun did come, he did talk, but it was always about Ann. About her 'cute' habits, about the things she did and all those things Minghao didn't want to hear, as they burned the last strings of his hope.

He didn't wish Jun heartbreak, the sad feelings when they fought, but when it was him comforting Jun, he felt the best. He felt like he had a chance when Jun smiled at him, that beautiful, boyish smile that Minghao learned to adore over the few last months.

It was almost midnight when his phone rang.

"Hello there, Hao."

"Mingyu... what do you want?"

"A dance or two... something more, maybe."

A few seconds of silence passed before,

"I'll see you at Highlight in twenty minutes."

Minghao didn't bother with cleaning the bottles or burnt out cigarettes off his balcony table. Instead, he dressed up, styled his hair and went out of the door.

-

Highlight was a night club hidden in one of the street corners, the once flashy neon sign no longer shining, the walls looking like they would fall in seconds. But the inside was still posh and nice, dancefloor always packed with people, bar full and music good, loud and something he would always gladly dance to.

Ordering himself and Mingyu their usual, he waited for the black-haired man to appear.

"Well hello there, beautiful."

He couldn't resist smirking as he turned around to face Mingyu.

"Ready for the night?"

"Will you be able to handle me?"

Mingyu grinned, pulling Minghao from his seat as an american pop song spread through the room, spinning Minghao to the dancefloor.

It didn't take long.

A few drinks, a few songs that they danced to before Mingyu was catching them a cab as their lips locked.

-

Junhui stood on his balcony, alone.

Minghao was nowhere to be seen, his apartment dark but his balcony table messy. Jun knew from habit that even a sleepy and drunk Minghao wouldn't leave that mess there.

The younger didn't pick up his phone either. And as Jun looked back at Ann, sleeping peacefully on their bed, his chest stung.

He sighed, his fingers fidgeting, longing to wrap around Minghao's own over the railings, as they'd often done when drunk beyond common sense.

This was getting bad.

-

"Oh god..."

Clothes torn off long time ago, pants and moans filled the room as Minghao settled in Mingyu's lap, his hands on Mingyu's firm thighs for support as he rode him.

"You feel so good, babe." Mingyu's hands were on Minghao's hips, holding them tight enough to bruise, adding multiple marks to all those that already decorated Minghao's thighs, chest and neck.

Minghao moaned at the pet name, loving it a bit too much.

"Oh yeah, you like that? You like that babe? Come on, faster, honey. You can do it, I know you can. You're a good boy for me, right?"

Minghao felt like he was drowning. He panted loudly, trying to catch a breath, his body glistening in the moonlight, beads of sweat running down his face, chest and back as he chased his release. However, he couldn't help but want a bit more, not just a quick play of bodies.

Apparently, Minghao was very obvious with his desires.

"Does my baby want to feel loved? Well, does he?"

Minghao nodded, his eyes blurry with tears of pleasure.

"I can't hear you, babe."

"Y-yes..." the brunette whimpered, legs giving out as he collapsed onto Mingyu's chest. The other's arms wrapped tightly around his waist as he panted, trying to start moving again.

"Come on... I know you can do better. What do you want, love?"

Tears slid down Minghao's cheeks.

"I want you to make love to me, Mingyu. Please, make me feel loved, your baby wants to feel good!"

In a flash, Minghao's back was pressed into the mattress, Mingyu towering above him as their eyes locked. Minghao couldn't help but notice the fondness in Mingyu's eyes, the fondness he was sure his own eyes mirrored a long time ago. Before he happened. Before Mingyu ruined his own life.

As Mingyu started moving, Minghao was on his personal cloud nine, all thoughts forgotten.

Their hands fell all over each other, Mingyu's face buried in Minghao's neck as he places kisses up his jaw, Minghao's fingers tangled in his hair as he let out a string of loud moans.

Pulling Mingyu's head up, Minghao locked their lips, losing himself in Mingyu completely.

Had he been a bit more focused, he'd hear his phone blaring Junhui's ringtone from his jacket on the floor.

-

Maybe he shouldn't be so alarmed. It wasn't like they had to see each other every night, right?

Well, of course, but before, every time one of them couldn't make it, he'd at least text or leave a note. Never just not show up without a notice.

Jun sat on his balcony, his morning coffee in his hand as he stared at his phone.

Then, a pair of thin, soft arms wrapped around his shoulders. A flowery smell enveloped him as Ann rested her head on his shoulder.

"Last night was great, baby."

Jun wished he could answer her the way he used to.

"Yeah..."

Now, all he could do was a simple 'yeah'.

His girlfriend found a seat right on his lap, kissing him sweetly, although Jun couldn't find the spark he used to feel all the time.

Suddenly, a balcony door to his left opened. Jun pulled away, confusing the girl as she looked after the sound.

There, on his balcony, was Minghao, looking like he just had a quite rough night. Hickeys covered most of his neck, his eyeliner was smudged, eyes tired and lips puffy, hair looking like it wasn't brushed in months. His clothes, tight black jeans, a white tank top and a leather jacket, suited him well if they weren't so wrinkled, obviously torn off in hurry, later also put on way too quickly and carelessly.

He looked absolutely fucked out. And Jun himself knew it well enough that that limp wasn't from fucking a girl. And only thinking about it, his vision went green with jealousy.

Only when he gathered all of the mess from his balcony table did Minghao notice them. Blushing, he uttered a quick 'hello' before disappearing in his apartment again.

And how much did Junhui want to call after him, to ask him so many questions. But Ann didn't even know he talked to Minghao.

"Slut." the word was like a knife to Junhui's heart, especially knowing that Minghao really did sleep with someone else. Not even thinking about the fact, that he still did have a girlfriend.

-

Minghao slammed his balcony door behind himself.

It was the first time he actually saw Junhui's girlfriend. And seeing her practically glued to him like that, the feeling pierced through his chest.

Grabbing his phone, Minghao sent out a text.

Minghao: you have time today?

Mingyu: sure, miss me already?

Minghao: i just need to get out of here

Mingyu: you alright?

Minghao: i don't know... pick me up at five

He didn't need to check his phone again to know that Mingyu agreed.

Taking off his clothes, Minghao jumped into his shower, rubbing off the remaining sweat, come and other things, enjoying the harsh burn of the hot water on his skin. The water washed off his dried tears too. That didn't matter, as new ones appeared in seconds.

Minutes later, Minghao sat in his shower, tears cascading over his cheeks as the hot water slowly ran out, leaving an ice cold stream to fall over him.

How could he let himself fall so deep?

-

With his hands full of grocery bags, Jun tried to somehow open his apartment building's door, in vain.

As he almost gave up and placed the bags on the floor, the door opened, Minghao walking out.

"Oh... hey, Jun."

"Minghao."

He looked different now. Grey jeans, a thick hoodie with a jacket thrown over it, no make-up and hair brushed back. Minghao was still extremely beautiful. But the marks all over his neck still reminded Jun of what exactly he was.

"So... you had a good last night, I assume."

The younger blushed.

"You could say that."

"Was it good knowing that you cheated?"

"What?" looking genuinely confused now, Minghao's expression only fueled Jun's anger.

"You've got a girlfriend and you go around fucking other guys? And now you even try to say you don't know what I'm talking about?"

Minghao grimaced in sudden understanding.

"Oh wait, you mean-"

"Yes, I mean your fucking girlfriend. That will probably love the fact you just cheated on her. How many times was it already, huh? Maybe Ann is right, you look like the slut type."

Before Jun could stop himself, everything was out and Minghao's eyes were wide in disbelief.

"A slut?"

"Yes, a slut. That's exactly what you are, right?"

Minghao was tearing up a bit before his expression hardened again.

"Right. My girlfriend... who makes me scream so loud. Yes, I just cheated on my fucking girlfriend, are you happy? I sure am a slut, yes. Thank you for telling me. Now I'm going to go and do slutty stuff, because that's what sluts do, don't they?"

"Wait-"

His next sentence was interrupted by a roaring sound of a motorbike engine. Minghao turned around, seeing Mingyu on his 'other baby', looking right at him and Junhui.

"Well, I'm off. By the way, you can't exactly cheat on a vibrator, Junhui."

Not looking back to see the other's reaction, Minghao took a spare helmet from Mingyu before climbing up behind him, arms wrapped tightly around the older's middle, head resting on his back as he tried to hold back his tears.

As they drove off, it didn't matter anymore, the harsh, cold wind blowing them right off his face.

-

Life was supposed to be fine if you have someone to love and someone who loves you. That's what Jun's mother always told him. However, the case might be a bit different when the person you loved wasn't the one you know loves you. And he should've seen it weeks ago, that his love for Ann, his long-time girlfriend that he used to love to the moon and back was slowly disappearing in thin air, leaving Junhui with a confused mind and want for answers he already knew.

Did he love Ann? Maybe once, not that much now.

Why? Someone managed to replace her, even though Jun always insisted she'll be the only one.

Who was to blame? As much as Junhui would love to throw all of his problems at Minghao and blame him for them, Jun knew as well as anyone, that he and his stupid weak heart were at fault. And there was no going back now.

He sat with his head in his hands, trying to rub out the headache he felt coming as he watched his now ex-girlfriend packing her things. The apartment was silent, apart from the quick footsteps, sounds of various things being wrapped up and forced into suitcases and boxes. But the loud pounding in Jun's head wasn't disappearing anytime soon.

Junhui always hated this. Silence. Silent arguments, no words said even if there were so many on the tip of his tongue. Being quiet, for him it always meant letting the poison seep deeper and deeper into his mind. Yet now, when he didn't even have words left to apologize again, being quiet was the only thing he could do.

It wasn't long before Ann stood in front of him, gently taking his hands off his face.

"I can't even blame you now, can I? Love is an unexpected thing, Junhui. Just... be careful who you fall for. You'll get hurt otherwise."

With a soft peck to his forehead, Ann left, walking out of his life as quickly as she once came into it.

-

Midnight passed by a long time ago, but Junhui still sat on his balcony, his lips wrapped around a cigarette, the brand Minghao liked, yet it still made Jun gag at the horrid taste. He stared into the darkness, watching as the few lights around him switched off, leaving the moon as his only companion.

He thought about his life. From his childhood to the present, about all of the people he met and loved dearly, about those he regretted hurting, Ann now joining the list, even though Junhui always hoped she wouldn't.

He thought about Hansol, who was still somewhere in this cursed town, maybe being happy with someone else, maybe suffering in the same way Junhui was right now.

Hansol used to be very dear to him. If the nights he always spent in passion he could only describe as red didn't show that enough. Junhui loved Hansol once, but the other wanted freedom that Junhui couldn't keep him from. He thought about his mother, she always told him that you'll only know if someone loved you when you let them go. Apparently, Hansol didn't love him enough, since he never came back. Junhui never saw him again.

He thought about his friends, those he didn't see for months after Ann started getting jealous, after he met Minghao. Those who always stood by his side yet he forgot about them so easily.

For a minute, he also thought about the man who took Minghao away, the engine's roaring perfectly clear in his memory, just like Minghao's body pressed close to the other man's, sending another sharp needle into Junhui's chest.

Finally, he thought of Minghao. Of his soft brown hair and big, beautiful eyes. Of his lips that looked so soft. Of the way the younger talked, without any fear. Of the way he smiled, walked... of the way his lips and fingers would wrap around his beloved cigarettes so gracefully, of his earrings that the younger loved so much, how they glinted in the night lights.

He thought about everything and nothing at once, without knowing about the fact, that not too far away, wrapped in clothes that weren't his and smoking a cigarette brand he hated, sat Minghao, his mind swimming with memories of Junhui as he tried to remember when exactly he fell into the rabbit hole.

-

Minghao had been staying at Mingyu's place for almost four weeks now. Between working and trying to dance away his thoughts at clubs, Minghao spent most of his time in Mingyu's bed. Nights that seemed endless, even though Mingyu continued to pleasure him in all ways possible. He couldn't sleep, the habit of meeting Junhui on his balcony at the strangest hours being stronger than his want to forget.

Another night, moonlight seeping into the room through thin curtains, throwing a beautiful shade at Mingyu's tan skin as the other slept peacefully next to Minghao. The younger fell asleep immediately after he came home. Minghao wished he could do the same. Instead, he sat against the headboard, staring at the white walls, counting seconds as they passed.

It still was a few hours before sunrise when Mingyu's phone started ringing. And perhaps it was curiosity that made Minghao stand in the bathroom, the phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the message left on it.

"Mingyu? It's Hansol. You're probably sleeping, huh... I'm sorry if I woke you up. I'm coming back tomorrow. I'll come over when I arrive, okay? I love yo-"

Minghao couldn't listen anymore. He knew how Mingyu felt about Hansol, he knew it well enough. About each and every crack in their relationship, how Hansol left and came back, never staying long enough for Mingyu to be okay. Freedom, he called it. Yet he still made sure to tell Mingyu just how much he loved him, as if to tie him down, knowing Mingyu was getting more and more desperate every time.

With a sigh, Minghao placed the phone back on the table, grabbing his clothes and leaving the apartment as quickly as he could.

The walk back to his place was long. The night was warm, the breeze gentle nice as Minghao slowly dragged his feet through the streets.

Surprisingly, they were empty. The silence left Minghao alone with his thoughts, his wants and regrets.

He couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh as he unlocked his door. It was nearing five in the morning when he finished his shower, dressed in his own clothes and started cleaning the mess he left everywhere. From dirty laundry to empty glasses and burnt out cigarettes, Minghao threw it out, finally stepping to his balcony for the first time in weeks. What surprised him was that the few potted flowers from his mother weren't completely dead like he thought they would be. Like they should've been.

For a few seconds, he looked to Jun's balcony. He frowned at all the cigarette ash on his table. As much as he wanted to sit there and wait for the sunrise, to wallow in self-pity, he could see Jun's apartment lights turning on one by one. Like the coward he was, Minghao ran back into his bedroom, closing the balcony door and switching off the lights, trying to ignore Jun calling his name.

He couldn't help but be glad, finally hearing Jun's voice again. Even though he was still mad, even though he wanted to forget, it felt nice.

-

It was still quite early in the morning when Mingyu woke up to the alluring smell of fresh breakfast. It brought a smile to his face, one that clouded his mind enough not to notice the absence of Minghao's things.

Going after the smell, it wasn't long after he had his arms wrapped around another's body that he noticed the person in his kitchen definitely wasn't Minghao. The distant salty scent of sea replacing Minghao's spicy one opened his eyes quick enough.

Shorter, black-haired. Sharp eyes staring at him through their reflection in the shiny pans as Mingyu finally realized who exactly he was holding.

"It's... you." perhaps his tone showed the disappointment a bit too much.

"Is that how you greet your boyfriend, Mingyu?"

"Didn't know you were coming..."

"I sent you a message. Told you I'll be here."

"It probably didn't come through..." Mingyu wasn't stupid. The message did come through. He just wasn't the one to hear it.

"Nevermind. I'm going to be here for quite some time now... I was thinking we could go on a date today. A friend recommended me a place. What do-"

"I don't think we should do this anymore."

"You want us to break up?"

And once again, Mingyu was losing the game he played way too often, even though he despised it.

"I-"

"You know I love you, right? I love you so much, why are you doing this?"

His words were like a chain, wrapping around Mingyu's limbs as Hansol lured him in with his sweet words, just like he always did.

And maybe, if he had a bit more courage, he could've been happier. He could've lived better. Maybe Minghao would've given him another chance, if he wasn't a coward. But the hurt look, despite Hansol learned how to fake it well enough, pierced Mingyu's heart too deep.

"No... I don't wanna break up. Where do you want to go?"

Just like always, like it went on for years, Hansol smiled. Another point in their game that Mingyu lost.

The chains felt so much tighter this time.

-

Same day, different place, Jun watched as Ann brought the last of her stuff out of their, now his, apartment. It was bittersweet. Bitter, like every break up with a dear person was, sweet because now the guilt wasn't eating him alive.

What he didn't know was that Minghao, from his balcony, also watched as Jun's ex-girlfriend loaded the boxes into her car, confused, yet a bit too happy.

Junhui was still quite happy that it was Ann who broke up with him, not being able to imagine what he'd do if she didn't.

Minghao crashed into his life like a hurricane. Smashing all of his routines, clearing his life of all he knew and replacing it with himself. Jun fell too fast for it to be safe. Love was a dangerous thing, yet the thrill of it still excited Junhui, enough for him to refuse to let it go.

Thinking about his past weeks, the man remembered all of Minghao's habits he managed to pick up. The nervous lip-biting when he wasn't sure, the tiny frown when he thought about something a bit too deeply, that small, almost unexistent smile on his face when he was simply enjoying the night breeze or the big, shiny grin he sent Junhui every time they met. Or used to send, maybe.

Also how he forgot to close the balcony door properly way too often. How he'd coo over his flowers when he thought no one was watching. The quiet singing in the shower, while cooking or simply when he was in a good mood. The 'Thughao' mode he sometimes slipped into, amusing Junhui with his sassy behaviour.

Junhui smiled fondly.

Minghao was still out of his reach at the moment, but that still didn't stop the warmth shooting up his spine as he thought about the younger, imagining the smaller's body in his arms and his soft laughs as Junhui would place little kisses all over his neck. Or perhaps the witty comebacks, the more realistic outcome of such a gesture.

Jun wouldn't say he was a passionate person. He knew well enough he wasn't. He might've been hard-working, he was motivated enough, but he didn't feel this type of passion for a long, long time. It felt good.

Even if he was still far away from his goal, Minghao was closer than Jun ever thought he would be.

-

Minghao was quite happy. He was back home again, it was a relief. He liked Mingyu, but it was just... painful. Painful to be so close with someone so lost. Mingyu needed help he couldn't provide.

But now, back in his own apartment, he was a lot calmer again. Even though the biggest problem still stood ahead of him, Minghao enjoyed what he had for the moment.

He hadn't looked at his phone for quite a long time, not since he came to Mingyu's. All the calls that didn't go through, the voicemails and texts left, those were Junhui's. Then, there was the one from his mother. She always knew, that he'd call back once he was ready.

Minghao was smiling as he dialed the number, waiting for the woman to pick up. It didn't take long.

"Just how long were you going to make me wait this time?" even though a bit distressed, his mother's voice was still extremely soothing, silencing all the bad thoughts at least for a second.

"I'm sorry, ma. I had a few... rough weeks."

"You want to tell me about them? You should talk it out, you know."

"I know, I know. You always told me that when I was younger. It's just... why is love so confusing?"

"Oh... so it's love, huh? What happened?"

"There's this... person. They're really special to me, I guess, I haven't felt this way for a long time. But... a few weeks ago, we had a fight? I'm not even sure if it was a fight, I just got really angry and left. And I really want to hate that person, but why do I feel like this? I'd love to smash their head against a wall and leave, but I also really just want to treat them overly nicely and sleep in the same bed and cook for them... you know, cheesy things like that. What is this?"

His mother chuckled over the phone before answering.

"You're in deep, sweetie. That guy must really be something."

Of course his mother would figure it out, Minghao had to smile fondly.

"I... yeah. He's something."

-

Minghao woke up to singing.

A nice, gentle voice singing a song he knew too well. Chinese words swam in the air, a sweet and kind melody reaching his ears. Even though it was still way too early, Minghao couldn't bring himself to be angry. Instead, he carefully got out of his bed, standing by the balcony door as he listened to the song.

It was relaxing, warm, it felt like home a bit. It curled around his head, between his fingers, wrapping around his body and mind, calming Minghao's tense nerves as he closed his eyes, letting the voice take over completely.

Sadly, the song wasn't long enough. A few minutes and the night was silent once again, the sweet voice disappearing as Minghao basked in the remains of it, still echoing in his brain.

Perhaps one day soon, instead of listening through paper-thin walls and closed doors, he could be standing right next to Jun, watching his expressions change with the song, instead back to bed secretly and quietly, he would tell Jun is was beautiful, ask for another song.

He only hoped it would still be possible once he decided it was the right time to risk his heart again.

-

Weeks went by quickly, yet impossibly slowly. Perhaps the lack on Jun in his life was at fault.

Sometimes, they met in hallways. Now, instead of running away, Minghao calmly uttered a greeting before disappearing once again. But at least, he wasn't avoiding Jun anymore. Once or twice, Jun even saw Minghao sitting out at the balcony like he used to do, looking at his flowers, a cigarette between his lips.

Time stretched between their fingers, life went on. Sometimes, it hurt. The little pang in Minghao's chest when he thought about his feelings too hard for too long. He chose not to think about them. It wasn't like anything good could come out of that.

The last month was also the longest time Minghao went by without Mingyu. With the older still dealing with his on and off boyfriend, trying to patch up a relationship that couldn't, shouldn't be fixed, they didn't keep in contact. Despite Mingyu still being Minghao's best friend, Hansol wasn't stupid. The chinese man wasn't about to make it harder for them. Hansol never liked him. Perhaps he had a good reason to hate Minghao, one the other couldn't really deny.

Sometimes, his mother would call. They'd spend hours on the phone, Minghao venting out his frustrations as she comforted him, just like she always did. Once or twice, his father spoke with him too.

Minghao missed them. His father, who was still too busy for his own good, yet still smiling, a man that always provided Minghao with steady words, motivated him to keep going through thick and thin. His sweet mother, who finally got to enjoy the life she wanted, still the same as ever, spitting words without a filter, yet still a warming figure by his side. Maybe, in a few months, he'd have enough time and money to go visit them for a few weeks. Just to get in touch with his childhood again. To feel brand new for a bit.

Although it was still Jun on his mind most of the time, Minghao was calm. He was willing to wait for his chance, for the right moment. And it came sooner than he thought.

It was after a particularly long day that Minghao slumped onto his couch, his eyes closing on their own as he slowly descended into his dreams. Between roses and thorns, a strange sound entered his sleepy mind. A loud, thumping sound pierced through his imaginary world, bringing him out of it quicker than he would've liked. Any other day, he'd probably ignore it, but the person knocking on his door seemed quite... desperate.

With a grunt, Minghao rolled off of his couch, prepared to strangle the idiot who woke him up. All of his anger melted as soon as he opened the door, replaced by panic and worry.

In front of his door stood Jun, his face bruised and bleeding in several places.

Without being able to let out a single word, Jun was dragged into Minghao's apartment, the door closing loudly.

"What the hell were you doing?"

"I fell? I don't really remember much. I just wanted to ask you for some bandages? I can manage the rest."

Instead, Minghao sat him down on the bathroom counter, examining the injury.

"Just how clumsy can you get?"

-

With Jun's face clean and taken care of, the two sat on Minghao's couch, the younger finishing with patching up Junhui's hands.

It was strange how quickly Minghao forgot about being careful, not letting himself go beyond a 'hello'. But the fond look on Jun's face was worth it, or at least Minghao thought so.

There was a lot to say, yet they didn't speak, apart from Minghao apologizing for causing Jun more pain when he accidentally pressed or squeezed too hard.

It wasn't long after Minghao placed the final bandage on Jun's hand that they fell asleep, Minghao's head placed on Junhui's shoulder, the older's arm finding it's way around his shoulder a few seconds later. That night, Minghao didn't dream. Even on the uncomfortable couch, he slept soundly, his breathing even and mirroring Junhui's. He was warm.

Even if they will wake up with aching necks, maybe even on the floor once Minghao moved a bit too much, for the moment, they were content.

-

It was early in the morning when Minghao woke up. There was no mistaking that there was a pair of arms wrapped around his waist, holding him tightly. It felt nice, even though it probably shouldn't. The light pressure and the warm chest with a steady heartbeat making him nuzzle closer. He could get used to this, Minghao was sure of that.

"You awake?" the soft voice brought him out of his morning daze.

Finally opening his eyes, Minghao was only half-shocked to find Junhui staring at him, a strange yet satisfying sparkle in his eyes.

"I guess?"

A quiet chuckle reached his ears, as Jun buried his face in Minghao's hair, holding him a bit tighter. As much as the younger enjoyed it, Minghao knew well enough it wasn't the right time yet.

"Come on, let me go."

It wasn't long before Minghao was standing in his kitchen, trying to whip up something at least close to a good breakfast. It was quite distracting to have Junhui in his apartment, walking around, staring at him with those pretty eyes...

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry... for what I said. For everything."

Any other day, Minghao would probably push the topic further, make Jun suffer a bit... perhaps he was too soft today.

"It's okay."

Although a bit awkward, the morning was nice. And maybe, just maybe, Minghao felt another piece of his life puzzle fall into place.

-

Life went on once again. He worked, he smoked, he talked to Jun, just like before. The only thing different was the absence of Mingyu. Perhaps Minghao should've seen it coming.

It was the familiar urge spiking up in his body. The urge to move, to dance. Even though he shook his hips often enough while trying to convince himself his cooking was good, it wasn't what he wanted.

Once again, dressed in stylish, yet comfortable clothes, Minghao found himself in Highlight, greeting Seungcheol the bartender as he headed for the dancefloor.

It felt right, good as he moved to the beat, a wide grin on his face, eyes closed and body wild.

Song after song, he spun around to the rhythm, letting it take over him entirely. He was high on that feeling, the atmosphere. The purple and blue lights spreading over his skin, excited shouts around him, the stares he could feel all over and cheers pumped fire into his veins, bringing out everything Minghao ever had in him.

He finally sat down after about an hour, sweaty, panting but feeling amazing.

"You really went out there, huh?" that voice was more familiar than he'd like it to be.

Turning around, he came face to face with a smiling Mingyu, his face tired but happy at the sight of Minghao.

"I guess I did. I needed it... dance, I mean." the other laughed, knowing it all too well that dance was something the chinese man couldn't let go.

"Want a drink? I'm paying."

"I don't see why not."

He could name quite a bit of reasons why he should refuse, three of them being Jun, Hansol and the fact, that Minghao knew what went on when they were drunk and together. And in his current situation, although he could use some sweet release, it would only do him wrong. Yet he still took the glass from Mingyu, hoping he wouldn't have to regret everything the next morning.

-

Fortunately, yet kind of unfortunately, they were interrupted before anything could happen. The worse part was, that it wasn't just anyone stopping their fun. It was Hansol.

"Babe, who is this?" of course Hansol knew exactly who Minghao was. That didn't really matter when he was trying to put his claim on Mingyu.

Somehow, after another song, Minghao ended up in Mingyu's car, awkwardly sitting in the backseat as Hansol drove down the street, parking in front of Minghao's apartment building.

"You didn't have to..."

"But you're our friend, I'd feel bad." the fake tone pissed Minghao off, but he knew his sounded the same most of the time, he couldn't really blame Hansol for that.

It was around midnight, the three of them standing in front of the building, Hansol clutching onto Mingyu's arm as if it was his lifeline, a smirk on his face.

"We should repeat this sometimes, I'd love to see you again, Minghao." as Minghao was about to answer, another familiar voice reached his ears.

"Hao, finally home?" of course Jun had to be taking a walk now. But as the other came closer, his eyes, surprisingly, weren't on Minghao. Instead, he stared at the couple next to him.

"W-Hansol?" his tone has lost its previous cheer, instead appearing much quieter, more nervous.

As Minghao turned to look at Hansol, the older didn't look very happy either. His smug expression gone, he stood there looking more vulnerable than Minghao has ever seen him. His eyes were glued to Jun, emotions flashing through the brown orbs. Recognition, anger, sadness, guilt.

"Junhui... Mingyu, we're going home."

In seconds, they were gone, leaving a confused Minghao and Junhui standing alone in the street. It took a few moments for Jun to start talking again.

"That was Hansol..." he was staring into the ground, eyes wide, hands balled in fists. Minghao decided getting Junhui back inside was the best idea at the moment.

-

"We dated a few years back... I liked him since high school, he gave me a chance. I thought it was special... that all was good and perfect. Then it started. I wouldn't see him for weeks, sometimes even a month. He wouldn't call, text, anything. It hurt every time. I didn't know what was going on. It was worse when he came back. I always almost moved on, then fell again."

"Guess he hadn't changed his ways since then."

"I met Ann after he was got for about a month or two. I was alone for so long, I couldn't resist. She was so sweet to me, seemed so exotic... I cheated. I felt bad for it, too. Well, before I found out what Hansol's been doing anyway. I broke up with him once he came back. He cried, pleaded... it was quite, well, emotional. Almost manipulating, maybe."

"Almost? That isn't the correct word, is it?"

"I was always wondering if it was my fault. If he always left because of me, if I did something wrong. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I didn't think I'd fall in love again, I didn't even want to. I was afraid of it, for some time. Ann got me out of it. It's sad I had to let her down too..."

After that, Jun's fingers tangled with Minghao's. It was almost ridiculous how well they fit together. The older sighed, looking away.

"I can't say I'm not happy like this, though... even having to break up with Ann was worth it."

"Worth what?"

"This."

It wasn't like fireworks exploding. No sparks or flying colours. No, instead it felt like a warm bath at the end of a long day. It felt like when he was dancing, passion flooding his veins. It simply felt good when Jun pressed his lips against Minghao's his hand on the younger's waist as they pulled back, foreheads pressed together.

"Definitely worth it."

A smile spread over Minghao's face as Jun sealed their lips into another kiss.

-

For once, Hansol was actually sleeping at his own place. Mingyu couldn't even pretend he missed the other. He was tired, tired of Hansol's excuses and all the talks he had prepared in case of Mingyu actually having an opinion. Sometimes, he wondered. What if he just moved out? Changed his number, ran away from everything. Mingyu almost laughed. As if he could do that.

Perhaps once, he loved Hansol. Back when the other didn't act like the king of the world, back when he didn't think a few tears, a please and a smile could solve everything. Hansol used to be his heaven, his baby. The one he cherished the most. Then, something changed.

Mingyu still remembered the first time Hansol left. At first, he felt hysteria, he screamed and cried. Asked himself, "What did I do wrong?" as if it was really his fault. Numerous calls and texts left unanswered, he was sure they were over. Then Hansol came back, swept everything under the carpet and acted as if nothing ever happened at all. And Mingyu, stupid naive Mingyu let him. Just like that, the collar around his neck got tighter, straped to a leash that Hansol held with a smile on his face, dragging Mingyu back every time the other tried to run away.

His life was a mess, Minghao being his only light in the darkness. He felt high when he was with Minghao, the nights they spent together being the last good thing he could do. But it was as if he always crawled right back to Hansol once the other snapped his fingers.

Mingyu sighed, finally locking the door of his apartment. He needed a breather.

Walking around the town at two in the morning wasn't the best idea, yet it seemed good enough in Mingyu's tired mind. Aside from drunk teenagers and caffeine-thirsty college students, Mingyu didn't really see anyone. With another one of his beloved cancer sticks sitting snugly between his lips, one hand in his pocket, he strolled down the streets.

Not many places were open right now. A few clubs with a bad reputation, one or two stores and his well known, favourite Highlight. He wasn't really in the mood to club at the moment, though. Mingyu was honestly surprised with himself when he found his legs leading him to a small corner cafe, stubbing the half finished cigarette on the ground before entering.

It was empty, which wasn't that shocking considering the time. He sat down near the counter, waiting for some employee to arrive. It wasn't that long before a tall, black-haired man came from the back. He looked a bit intimidating, with sharp fox eyes and a resting bitch-face, but the warm brown colour of his eyes was soft, friendly.

"Hello, can I take your order?" his voice was deep, honey-like. Nice.

"Black coffee... thank you."

The man smiled a bit before disappearing once again.

Mingyu was left by himself, thinking about a stranger he never saw before, yet imagined in explicit detail, beautiful brown eyes clouded with lust. The man was beautiful.

His train of inappropriate thoughts was interrupted by a cup being placed in front of him, the man smirking a bit as he sauntered away, wiping the empty tables. Perhaps Mingyu shouldn't be thinking about stranger baristas in the dirty matter he was just right now, especially since he had a boyfriend. Well, he didn't really care, did he?

"You're really pretty."

He heard a little snort, it being much more adorable than it should be.

"Am I now?" the man turned around, looking Mingyu dead in the eyes as he smirked, a playful look in his eyes.

"Very."

"Considering the fact, that you still didn't realize that isn't black coffee, I must be gorgeous."

Suddenly realizing the liquid in his mouth tasted overly sweet, he couldn't help but grin.

"You know, it isn't very professional to just change your customer's orders."

"Don't act like you wanted the bitter black coffee anyway. I can see it well enough." another smirk crossed the man's face as he went back to wiping the tables.

The next few minutes were silent, Mingyu drinking the overly sweet chocolate, even though he had to admit, this was the way he liked his drinks. It was nearing three in the morning. His phone already buzzed a few times, Hansol's name appearing on the screen, but Mingyu couldn't bring himself to care about it. Instead, he watched the pretty man in front of him as he cleaned the café, throwing him playful looks every now and then.

Right before he went out, Mingyu turned to the smirking man.

"What's your name?"

The amusement in those fox-like eyes was obvious.

"Come back and I might tell you." after that, he disappeared in the back of the café, Mingyu himself walking out into the streets.

**Author's Note:**

> I left Mingyu's ending quite open, as I will be working on that too. There will also be some JunHao smut, it just didn't feel right to put into this fic.


End file.
